Dr F is threatening to debar me from exams when I CLEARLY SHOW UP FOR CLASSES. I don't know what is his problem. I really don't.

I'm tired.
I'm tired of feeling that achy worryness in my heart. Which I now know is called Anxiety.

I don't deal with stress well.
Or properly.

I don't know what people want from me.
I'm sorry I don't suck up to you.
I'm sorry I don't pretend.



I ditched my friends.
I do not consider Alfred and Sharon friends anymore.
I'm sorry guys.

I'm tired of dealing with your complications.


Since I feel that perhaps this time I shouldn't cut you guys off without prior warning or reason (like I did with Hidayah)
here's why.


Alfred.
I dislike your personality.
As much as I have tried to overlook your flaws. I cannot.
Though you may think you have matured, please think again.

The last straw was when I did your share of work for you, and you still have the nerve to come late, dressed very stylishly. You should have gone,"ah screw my hair, I'm cabbing to school." Your attitude pisses me off and I'm tired of being pissed off.
Never mind that, I receive no word of apology or thanks.
I may be your friend, but I hate being taken advantage of.
Maybe I'm petty. Or childish. Small things also want to throw away friendship.

YAH. I am. I just feel like it. So I'm done helping you.

Sharon.
You always give people the impression that you are up to standard, but you're not. You bitch alot and you don't say things to people's face, contradicting what you tell me. I'm using this as a platform to inform you guys because I cannot face friends like yous. Stress is not something I handle very well at the moment.


Both of you have a habit of talking behind people's backs about your own friends. Yes, I agree that my friends have short-comings, but I soon realise I'm sinking into that habit of bitching. Me don't like. So no.I don't like your personality. I don't like the fact that I am your friend, but you talk behind my back.

I don't talk to everyone about one person.

If I want to bitch, it's a private convo between me and you.
I don't tell everyone the same thing. I don't discuss it like a damn forum.

If you feel I'm being hypocritical in saying this, then fine. It's just as well we're not friends.


Deep down, I really hate you guys. I feel betrayed of a friendship. But I'm gonna emotionally detach myself.

I fail to thank Cassandra for being my friend. Thanks for covering my asses, helping out in FYP when I totally FAIL at calculations (I hate maths lah)

I'm listening to All that I've Got by The Used being emo happy hahahahaha. awesome. Daddy gave me something he called a "woofer" hahahaha no idea wtf it is or how to spell it but I amped up the treble and bass and now it's like HECK YEAH THIS SONG IS THE SECKS :D


Hmm Abigail, I'm very proud of her. I like her. I think she's a genuine person. Just very naive. But she improved greatly! I'm so proud of her! She can do FYP on her own now, and her standard of work is improving.

Haha me and Cass had taken her under our wing and we're like trying to teach her life skills or smth like that.
She has a habit of being easily distracted, especially when it comes to work, but I still have tolerance for her. So I'm okay with her I guess. Me and Cass genuinely want her to do better, caz we feel people might take advantage of her and she wouldn't know it.
Abi's more independent now, good for you!


I don't like my course, hate the people in my school with a few people being exceptions. Hate the incompetent biased lecturers. I'm gonna study my ass off from tonight onwards so pardon me if I go on long hiatus.


Okay, I'm gonna start work at 8.30pm. It's 8.10 now, so for 20 mins I'm gonna headbang to The Used and forget my worries for awhile.
It's the only thing I could do when the #@$%@##$! army stole my boyfriend away from me.


Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind
The worries are washed out to sea
See the changes, people's faces blurred out
Like sunspots or raindrops...

(Chorus)
Now all those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time.
but today ive wasted away for today is on my mind...

Left the only worries I had in my hands,
Away from the light in my eyes..
Holding tight and try not to hide how i feel....

(Pre-Chorus)
'Cause Feelings mean nothing

(Chorus)
Now all those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time
but today I’ve wasted away for today is on my mind
(yeah today is on my mind)

I can't care to worry
Im feeling so lonely
Breaking apart all this love in my heart
Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind

(Pre-Chorus)
Where feelings mean nothing

(Chorus)
Now All those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time (all be lost in time)
But today I’ve wasted away, for today is on my mind
For today is on my mind
Yeah today is on my mind

Now I care to worry
I’m feeling so lonely
Breaking apart all this love in my heart...


The Used rocks my socks. THANKS ADAM FOR THE INTRO. xoxo