Holy turds I haven't been updating my blog in ages. Haven't talked to Ryan and Jacob in ages too. Awww the spaces between us are wider! Even I've been neglecting Hokes (sorry dear) just get caught up in things and well it's just taxing to finish everything in the weekdays just so I can have the weekends untouched and for Hokes and only Hokes. I really do love spending the entire day uninterrupted with him :)

So really, I would prefer anything else to just be slot on a weekday tyvm :)

Time flies and gosh it's 2 weeks to common tests. SHITS. Serious lack of time now. It seems I cannot decide whether I want to be alone in school or not. People (or person in fact) have been sticking to me in lectures and leeching off my reputation and I DON'T LIKE. I hate being used but then again, work needs to be done and I need help, so I cannot be a loner as much as I would like to be.

WAI DONT PEOPLE UNDERSTAND?


So okay, everyone else is being cooperative (goooood gooooood very gooooooood!!!) they established a nice "hi-bye" relationship with me, which I like caz I don't really wanna "talk and have fun" with you in lectures. I actually wanna listen and be in my own little world. SO IT'S GOOD! Thank you rest-of-the-world! But this particular person keeps sms-ing me whether I'll be going for lectures and basically stalking me because he wants to sit with me in lectures so he won't look like a loser. I RESENT THAT HELLO. Firstly, your reputation is bad. Nobody likes you and you sticking with me? It makes people think that the only friends I have, is you. And you like that because my reputation is well, I'm not popular, but people certainly know me. so... NO, you aint rolling with me boy.

But then again, I don't mind actually, I mean I'll be your friend, if you are a person worth being friends with, I would. But since you are just using my reputation? I'm gonna play your game. AINT GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN BITCH. So, from being indifferent to my reputation, since you do care, I'm gonna care and make sure you don't get what you want (and destroy my rep at the same time)

Plus, you are disgusting. Stop staring at my boobs! SPEAK TO THE FACE! the fat face but face nonetheless!

Besides all of that, this particular person is being less repulsive (if that is even possible) this year, he's been reading psychology/self-help books AND NOT UNDERSTANDING IT because his English sucks but have been discussing it with me (and I like this kinda stuff) so I'll explain them to him. I. Am. Such. A. Nice. Person.
Lmao, and no I'm not being conceited. I'm trying to make myself believe in that so that I'll actually turn out to be a nice person! Get it? Hahhaahaha.


My mum's friends are so annoying and wonderful and annoying AND NOT FAIR they keep buying her stuff, like bags and clothes and it's so wtf-ing. I do not understand the concept of it all(?????) but well this is how the dice rolled for her so okay. One of her friends wanted to give her a Guess bag (FOR GOD'S SAKE GIVE MEEEE) and told her if she didn't like it, she can give it to me! (PLEASE HATE IT PLEASEEE) hahahaha I guess God is compensating her for having such a horrid daughter. Sorry mum. But it is afterall my life. But hey! I'm doing my best to make you happy!

Mum has like what? 5 bags given as gifts from her friends? and countless clothes and scarves. RAWR. Sorry, I don't have sincere friends that would give me gifts because they have too much money and because they love me. The friends who do love me mostly dont have too much money.

I'm still wondering what I'm supposed to do with 21.
Oh if you don't know what 21 is. Here you go.


Mission name: 21
Objectives: Live your life.


So basically at 21, I'm gonna stop letting mum force me to do things. Of course I want to be an air stewardess but... I don't see it happening without mum disowning me. Sigh... what a depressing topic.
Anyway! basically my plan is that at 21, I'll begin this transition where I'll do things without asking her permission, but merely informing her in advance what I'm gonna do.


WHICH IS BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS BTW PPL! I'm not a prisoner afterall! So I'll begin like going out as and when I like. (I predict a huge fight will explode from this) But I will persevere and CONDITION her to get used to me LIVING MY LIFE. I will stay over at people's house as and when I want to (don't worry, I respect my parents enough to make sure they're either family or close girlfriends) I will keep my curfew at 12 midnight. And I will go overseas with my friends and no one can stop me. NO ONE. OKAY?

I want to live, really live before I'm tied down with responsibilities like a stable job and a family (like children and all that) I lived my life for you all these while! It's time to live for ME. I'm so sorry that our ideals clash and our lifestyles are vastly different but it doesn't give you any right to puppet me!


yay!
I will go through with this, I want this so bad and I love my parents (grudgingly) I do, so I want them to be happy but I MUST TEACH THEM TO BE HAPPY WITH ME. With the real me...



Anyway, CHRISTMAS IS AROUND THE CORNERRRRR!!! So exciting, but yeah yeah I know as a Muslim you're not supposed to celebrate this stuffs. Aww. But I don't believe in it doesn't mean I can't enjoy the festive feel, right..? I'm not doing traditional stuffs, I don't give presents and eat turkey and all that jazz so it's alright right?
TOTALLY LOVEEEE the decoration and lights and it feels so magical and fantasy like ooooohhh, the atmosphere is nais. :D but man life is such a bitch how they celebrate christmas and chinese new year on a much grander scale. DAMN YOUS. so unfair! If Deepavali is the festival of lights YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE LIGHTS EVERYWHERE THAN CHRISTMAS!!! I can totally think up a good mood and atmosphere for Deepavali. And Hari Raya? Go traditional! DAMNNN we have such good cultures STOP WESTERNIZING IT'S SO GAY AND WANNABE-ISH so embarrassing!

But well Singapore is LIKE THAT, damn retarded I still can't make up my mind whether to migrate or not, I love the country but the people? DAMNNNN. Hahaha

Wow, my ideal Christmas would be bright beautiful decorations, especially a giant christmas tree, warm fireplace AND IT WILL BE SNOWING OUTSIDE HOW MAGICALLL IT MAKES YOU WANNA BELIEVE IN SANTAAAAA but santa doesnt exist so no I don't believe in santa, nor christmas DOESNT MAKE IT ANYLESS EXCITING!

It's about setting the mood! Man, maybe I should be an events planner! Hahahaha ok maybe not >.>

And ew I'm blabbing too much!



Ughhhh gotta document my life down, words are so important to me. It can make or break a legend, words live forever if there is someone to read it! (and understand it) so despite having a life and being busy, I shall make an effort to pen down my thoughts on a more regular basis. Till next time! Be nice!

Labels: Elle, HELLO, Insanity, Mum, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Random Mandoms, Religion, ryan pwns asses, School, The Queen, Weird Shiz

ooh. life is actually.

well.

it's actually the same.


I think I'm learning to deal with it better? I've been dealing with my parents SUPERBLY. and I've learnt how to control my temper with them. HO HO I am so proud of myself. I try not to think about how depressing it is too much. Sigh, 21. When I'm 21 I'll deal with it again. I AM STILL LIKE SO AWESOME.


I actually really want to be an air stewardess. HAHA. It's kinda like, my childhood dream. I mean maybe just work and travel for 2 years. Wow. See the world before I settle down. Wow. That will never happen. Wow. My mum will ask "WHERE'S YOUR TUDUNG?"

Mampos. Wow.



I am studying very diligently this sem :) WEEEEE, this time a 4.0 is very possible, IF SOMEBODY HUH, there's a SOMEBODY who is in all of my groups and is EXTREMELY IRRITATING, as if the drama last year wasn't enough. You better not be leeching off me and refuse to share your answer with me okay? DISGUSTING. I hate people, I hate working with people, I hate group work and projects RAWWWRRR but surprisingly people think I'm a people person because of my extroverted personality. HAHA little do they know HOW BITCHYYYYY I AMM.



WHICH, I am trying to tone down :( I mean really, I don't want to be like that but some people are just begging for it, seriously. So if everyone would just do me a favour and leave me alone, I LIKEEEEEE being alone! omg such a drastic change, but when I need to do work or study or some serious shit, I need solitude. I focus better. Sigh, I'm too easily distracted.
(HAHA after typing out this post half way i went on to facebook lololol okok I'm back)



I am also trying to lose weight, or rather decrease my appetite because eversince Hokes came into my life, he turned me into a pig. I also want to tone my body because Hokes the beloved likes playing with my flab and oh god the thunder thighs. non-stop suaning there :(
haha but jwong says that weight gain is a sign of a healthy relationship.
OKAAAY I guess that's a good thing but I have no desire to end up being a fat flabby walrus, NAH UH, so I shall start training for my napfa too :)

I need more time to do things caz I feel like doing so many things!




Went to Hokes' POP where he'll get a sexy blue beret, haha I have to say his cousin seriously keep cracking me up. lmao siao. and Hokes looks adorable and HOKES PAPA IS SO FUNNY AHAHAHAHHA he was the first to spot Hokes in the parade square (AWWW PAPA!) and then when he tried to take a picture of hokes, HE ZOOMED IN AND TOOK SOMEBODY ELSE'S FACE HAHAHHA HOKES PAPA HOW CAN YOU RECOGNISE YOUR SON FROM FAR AND NOT IN CLOSE UP ZOOOOMED BAHAHAHA OMG SHO KEWT I CANNOT TAHAN.


omg seriously Hokes' family is sho funny through out the whole thing keep laughing, and omg we kept dissing the place too ahahaha aiyo so cute.




:)
I will always try to be my best :)

Labels: Elle, Insanity, Morning Madness, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Random Mandoms, School, The Queen