helloooo people, if I can live with your ideals, get over mineee. And stop misinterpreting!

Come on, I am not turning into a robot. If ever, I'll most likely be more empathetic! Stop being the "mature" people thinking awww this girl is trying to be different when she's actually the same. Really, lame mentality.

Like I've replied an angry person's email, I KNOW I'm not the only one in this world facing shit OH MY GOD PLEASE GET OVER YOURSELVES THAT YOU ARE BETTER THAN ME. Goodness? This is life, at some point of time, at some aspects in life, SOMEONE will have it worse than you at something. So I cannot be sad over my predicament? It's not as if I'm not getting over it? I am! Why are you guys so clogged up in your brains that you must stick to your ideals and your principles only? Be open minded, accept that people are different, people think differently. If I can accept you for who you are, then stop being a bitch to me?


For all the harping about "look at yourself" don't look at others, the entire point of the post is that I HAVE. I want to STOP JUDGING (don't you read? I really do question your intelligence now) I want to be a GOOD PERSON and it's okay that there are people with flaws! I do my best to be a better person everyday, and that is what counts. I appreciate things that are done for me and if I don't or forget to, and you find it offensive, TELL ME LIKE HOW I TELL YOU. And if you don't find an issue with it, then be happy that you made me happy! Stop playing these stupid childish games!


Like I've said countless times, I judge people. you judge people. EVERYONE will form impressions in their minds about people but ACTION IS KEY. I want to STOP acting on my judgments and I hope that the world would see the same. That though you judge, you are open-minded enough to give the person the benefit of the doubt, that they might change or actually have an amazing trait lurking beneath the nonsense that you've not seen.


I will not be friends with ANYONE. Understand? No 50% no 60% and all that bs. Goodness me. I respond to your actions(good or bad, if you are a bad person, I AM SURE I WILL RESPOND POSITIVELY TO YOUR 1% GOOD ACTION I am pretty sure you're human not satan), and I WILL BE a friend, in terms of action. I will not stand by and watch you fall or deliberately ruin your life or be heartless or be a robot. I am NOT pushing people away you retards! PEOPLE LIKE YOU make me want to push people away but I DONT. It is precisely that humans are all greys and not black and white, that's why I am a friend to everyone. Whether you take drugs, or stole a car, or bitch about people, or cheat on your lover, or are selfish, or have sex with anyone, even animals, I. Don't. Care.

What I don't want is to call you MY FRIEND. Because people like you, have to harp on it like crraaaaazzzaaayyy. I would have a relationship with you YES, it's impossible to not have a relationship with someone unless you've never met the person. Just the KIND of relationship, it would not be friendship. It would be purely based on actions on the spot.


And with regards to my exclusive few, I love you and I don't give a shit what you think about me even though I'm feeling abit of retardation from all of you. I DONT CARE. I dont care if you don't love me anymore, I don't care if you do. I love you because I love you and I do things because I love you FULLSTOP.

I don't expect anything from you SO DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING FROM MEEEEEE BETCHEZ. I am already being the best person I possibly can, yes I make mistakes and I accept my mistakes and rectify them if I knew them and knew how.

I would not be making up theories if I don't abide to them myself. SERIOUSLY, I'm not an idiot. And I don't IMPOSEEEEE my theories on you. Okay? So please get over yourselves and your ideals because it's starting to look like you think you're the better person and your theories are the only right theories and I can't have mine.

Of course my theories can have holes poked if I don't explain it well(and theories are theories not facts), I can't, it's hard for me to express myself in words, I don't have that gift, but why don't you open up your mind a little and try to see it from how I'm seeing it, because I DO KNOW HOW YOU SEE IT and I understand WHY you see it that way and I ACCEPT IT that you want to believe in it.


Like flipping religion, I can see why Christians love Jesus to death and Buddhists believe in karma and bla bla bla. It's not that I don't read up about it, I know! You've told me all about your flipping religion! And I see where you're coming from and I accept it, I just choose not to believe in it!


I don't want nouns to express how I feel about you, unless it's something like family (DNA will kick your ass trying to deny it)or boyfriend or girlfriend (THERE IS SOMETHING WRONGGG with your r/s if you don't want a status because these are steps before marriage, BEFORE FAMILY, the commitment needs to be there)

But friends? The commitment DOES NOT need to be there. There is no ties. You're speaking up for me Jacob, like the rest of you. There is no ties. ONLY LOVE. Friends does not equal love! LOVE IS LOVEEE. Because I have you in my personal regard, because I LOVE YOU, I WILL be there for you I WILL have a commitment to YOU. okay? And it is not easy to love someone so NO I DO NOT LOVE EVERYONE. (And if you don't love your family and boyfriend or girlfriend then it sucks to be you)

So NOOOOO god I just don't believe in friends, get over it, if I don't love you, TOO BADDD I am sure someone else does (You still have family you whiny ass) and if I do, WOW GOOD FOR YOU. one more person in your life loves you, don't you feel loveddddd?


Basically I will be the same person my actions are the same, IF you had not known and read this post, YOU WOULD FIND NO SIGNIFICANT CHANGE IN ME, the only thing that has changed is my PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE. so why are you finding an ISSUEEEEE with me?
I am THIS sort of person, a person who analyses things and I do it because I find it important, you have your own set of things important to you and I have mind.
I find it important because it defines my purpose and how I feel and perceive about life, the journey that I AM TAKINGGG NOT YOUUUU LALALA HELLO HELLO WAKE UP. STOP SHAKING ME CAZ I AM AWAKE.


Look at the gazillion people in my life whom I call friends. Really, wont you find it more offensive that I consider an insignificant person friends and you friends when youre more significant to me?
So what I do, I do, because I care in some way but to hell with friends. I do it not because "it's what friends should do." screw that okay? Everything I do MEANS something, and in your point of view you would call it "friendship"

I don't. Okay? I call it love. Personal regard. Whatever. Different people, different degree of regard. GET OVER ITTTT.

Stop trying to show me that I am wrong and yet tell me at the same time "there is no right and wrong" YOU look who's doing the judging. hypocritical bunch of shits leh all of you! wahlao! Must bombard me for what I believe in? I am so disappointed in all of you! haha and I don't really care if you're disappointed in me or son't want to be friends with me. like everything else in life, I can live with it and I can move on. Just because I can, does not mean I am a robot and you are such wonderful empathetic human beings. Fuck off.

NOW, I want to talk about my day hahahaha. Hmm I watched Detroit Metal City, the first few episodes of the anime and OMG SO FUNNAYYY HAHAHAHA-

eh wait, I forget to tell Jacob I love him too eventhough he always think he's better than me and everyone and drive me crazy. See? I told you. I love means I love forever AIYO LEAVE ME ALONE LAH. No "friends" to love me also never mind. My family does and hopefully a future husband to have a family with. TADA! Happiness. Hehehehahaha.-

OKAY continue. Anyway remember Singapore Idol? the third season (latest one) there was this dude in long blonde hair and costume and face painting I JUST WATCHED DETROIT METAL CITY SO NOW THEN I REALISED WHO KRAUSER IS HAHAHAHAHA

You see, in Detroit Metal City, Krauser is this crazy metal screamo guy, lead singer of a screamo metal band. BUT this guy accidentally joined that band, he thought it would be a lovey dovey meaningful soft melodious tunes kinda band. BECAUSE HE IS ACTUALLY that kinda of person! But the sad thing is that he is good at being metal screamo and his love songs SUCKSSSS. Hahahaha! And everytime the anime shows him trying to sing love songs he looks soooo retarded and gay and mushy BAHAHAHA

So, my point is, Krauser on SG Idol I SALUTE YOUUUU. The irony is BEAUTIFULLL how you dress like that and purposely sing a love song hahahaha THE JUDGES ARE STUPID. Your voice isn't that bad and you should make it through and they should appreciate the irony. But sadly, eventhough the judges are immersed in the MEDIA industry, they don't know the existence of KRAUSER, shame on you! Aiyah, I think the judges are retarded to begin with so whatever.

(Hate Dick Lee. He's a dick hehehehehe and Florence is really a Lian. Don't know anything but act like know everything. Ken is arrogant and think he so damn good. BUT I respect that occasionally his comments are professional and made sense. Other than that, I think all three judges are RUDE and purposely try to mock and diss people because they think they are so funny and give entertainment value. Disgusting. Even American Idol isn't mean please.Singaporeans really over do things.)

And then I recently I also watched Survivor (just the last episode because I cannot be bothered with TV) AND OMG ASS TO THE MAX RUSSEL SHOULD HAVE WON. I was so upset, Russel was so upset UGHHH people are just sore losers and sometimes need to OPEN UP THEIR MINDS and see that the bad people have good in them and that eventhough russel betrayed everyone like siao and lie and deceive and manipulate and use people? HE DID IT FOR THE GAME. It is how you play the game! And they should stop taking it personally and give him the win because HE deserves it! Jaison is stupid because he said in real like "you would hate the Russel and you wouldnt want to let him win" OMG YOU CHILDISH BRAT IN REAL LIFE, YOUR PRIZE IS DEATH.
Idiot.

You die, you go to heaven or hell. So the point of the game of Life, is to do good things, live a purposeful life and ENJOY THE JOURNEY. In survivor, SCREW THE JOURNEY ONLY 1 MONTH WHAT, and you get a million dollars! Doesn't mean that Russel is a bad person! He just know what to do in the game! Wahlao! hate sore losers and people who take it personally. I AM SO UPSET FOR RUSSELLLLLL :( Russel I am officially your number 1 fan because I APPRECIATE THAT HOW YOU PLAYED THE GAME WAS AN ART MAN. WOOOAAHHH
hahahahahaha

shiz man my post is very long and I have chores to do but I really don't feel like doing them. I feel like eating. RAWR. I really feel like eating.SIGHZ it seems I am gaining weight even thought I cut down on my food.WTHHHH. And I have been exercising (though not as often as I want to)sigghhhh not enough! Must do more! RAWR.

Hokes is my favouritest boy in the world. That's why he's my boyfriend. Not the other way around. Yay! It seems I still cant wear that halter dress. Sad. I want to make custard tarts. Without growing fat. maybe give some to my aunts, cousins and hokes' family too. Hmm. I would give Jacob too. But he would never meet me. And Ryan but he's overseas. And other people but they are angry with me. TOO BAD. no yummy tarts for you! until you want to talk to me. because actually i am ok. HAHA. contradictory. Im ok if youre ok. OK! my mama is being annoying but I love my papa like crazy suddenly caz I thought he almost died. Sigh, it's so cute when your parents show you they love you. SEE. NO MATTER WHAT MUST RESPECT YOUR PARENTS. even if they are wrong and retarded. omg I really feel like eating tarts. See? this is how my train of thought travels.

I am weird.

Labels: Angry Bombs, Brother, Elle, fweedom, HELLO, Insanity, Jacob, Mum, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Questionable, Religion, ryan pwns asses, The Anarchist, The King, The Queen, Weird Shiz

Holy turds I haven't been updating my blog in ages. Haven't talked to Ryan and Jacob in ages too. Awww the spaces between us are wider! Even I've been neglecting Hokes (sorry dear) just get caught up in things and well it's just taxing to finish everything in the weekdays just so I can have the weekends untouched and for Hokes and only Hokes. I really do love spending the entire day uninterrupted with him :)

So really, I would prefer anything else to just be slot on a weekday tyvm :)

Time flies and gosh it's 2 weeks to common tests. SHITS. Serious lack of time now. It seems I cannot decide whether I want to be alone in school or not. People (or person in fact) have been sticking to me in lectures and leeching off my reputation and I DON'T LIKE. I hate being used but then again, work needs to be done and I need help, so I cannot be a loner as much as I would like to be.

WAI DONT PEOPLE UNDERSTAND?


So okay, everyone else is being cooperative (goooood gooooood very gooooooood!!!) they established a nice "hi-bye" relationship with me, which I like caz I don't really wanna "talk and have fun" with you in lectures. I actually wanna listen and be in my own little world. SO IT'S GOOD! Thank you rest-of-the-world! But this particular person keeps sms-ing me whether I'll be going for lectures and basically stalking me because he wants to sit with me in lectures so he won't look like a loser. I RESENT THAT HELLO. Firstly, your reputation is bad. Nobody likes you and you sticking with me? It makes people think that the only friends I have, is you. And you like that because my reputation is well, I'm not popular, but people certainly know me. so... NO, you aint rolling with me boy.

But then again, I don't mind actually, I mean I'll be your friend, if you are a person worth being friends with, I would. But since you are just using my reputation? I'm gonna play your game. AINT GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN BITCH. So, from being indifferent to my reputation, since you do care, I'm gonna care and make sure you don't get what you want (and destroy my rep at the same time)

Plus, you are disgusting. Stop staring at my boobs! SPEAK TO THE FACE! the fat face but face nonetheless!

Besides all of that, this particular person is being less repulsive (if that is even possible) this year, he's been reading psychology/self-help books AND NOT UNDERSTANDING IT because his English sucks but have been discussing it with me (and I like this kinda stuff) so I'll explain them to him. I. Am. Such. A. Nice. Person.
Lmao, and no I'm not being conceited. I'm trying to make myself believe in that so that I'll actually turn out to be a nice person! Get it? Hahhaahaha.


My mum's friends are so annoying and wonderful and annoying AND NOT FAIR they keep buying her stuff, like bags and clothes and it's so wtf-ing. I do not understand the concept of it all(?????) but well this is how the dice rolled for her so okay. One of her friends wanted to give her a Guess bag (FOR GOD'S SAKE GIVE MEEEE) and told her if she didn't like it, she can give it to me! (PLEASE HATE IT PLEASEEE) hahahaha I guess God is compensating her for having such a horrid daughter. Sorry mum. But it is afterall my life. But hey! I'm doing my best to make you happy!

Mum has like what? 5 bags given as gifts from her friends? and countless clothes and scarves. RAWR. Sorry, I don't have sincere friends that would give me gifts because they have too much money and because they love me. The friends who do love me mostly dont have too much money.

I'm still wondering what I'm supposed to do with 21.
Oh if you don't know what 21 is. Here you go.


Mission name: 21
Objectives: Live your life.


So basically at 21, I'm gonna stop letting mum force me to do things. Of course I want to be an air stewardess but... I don't see it happening without mum disowning me. Sigh... what a depressing topic.
Anyway! basically my plan is that at 21, I'll begin this transition where I'll do things without asking her permission, but merely informing her in advance what I'm gonna do.


WHICH IS BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS BTW PPL! I'm not a prisoner afterall! So I'll begin like going out as and when I like. (I predict a huge fight will explode from this) But I will persevere and CONDITION her to get used to me LIVING MY LIFE. I will stay over at people's house as and when I want to (don't worry, I respect my parents enough to make sure they're either family or close girlfriends) I will keep my curfew at 12 midnight. And I will go overseas with my friends and no one can stop me. NO ONE. OKAY?

I want to live, really live before I'm tied down with responsibilities like a stable job and a family (like children and all that) I lived my life for you all these while! It's time to live for ME. I'm so sorry that our ideals clash and our lifestyles are vastly different but it doesn't give you any right to puppet me!


yay!
I will go through with this, I want this so bad and I love my parents (grudgingly) I do, so I want them to be happy but I MUST TEACH THEM TO BE HAPPY WITH ME. With the real me...



Anyway, CHRISTMAS IS AROUND THE CORNERRRRR!!! So exciting, but yeah yeah I know as a Muslim you're not supposed to celebrate this stuffs. Aww. But I don't believe in it doesn't mean I can't enjoy the festive feel, right..? I'm not doing traditional stuffs, I don't give presents and eat turkey and all that jazz so it's alright right?
TOTALLY LOVEEEE the decoration and lights and it feels so magical and fantasy like ooooohhh, the atmosphere is nais. :D but man life is such a bitch how they celebrate christmas and chinese new year on a much grander scale. DAMN YOUS. so unfair! If Deepavali is the festival of lights YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE LIGHTS EVERYWHERE THAN CHRISTMAS!!! I can totally think up a good mood and atmosphere for Deepavali. And Hari Raya? Go traditional! DAMNNN we have such good cultures STOP WESTERNIZING IT'S SO GAY AND WANNABE-ISH so embarrassing!

But well Singapore is LIKE THAT, damn retarded I still can't make up my mind whether to migrate or not, I love the country but the people? DAMNNNN. Hahaha

Wow, my ideal Christmas would be bright beautiful decorations, especially a giant christmas tree, warm fireplace AND IT WILL BE SNOWING OUTSIDE HOW MAGICALLL IT MAKES YOU WANNA BELIEVE IN SANTAAAAA but santa doesnt exist so no I don't believe in santa, nor christmas DOESNT MAKE IT ANYLESS EXCITING!

It's about setting the mood! Man, maybe I should be an events planner! Hahahaha ok maybe not >.>

And ew I'm blabbing too much!



Ughhhh gotta document my life down, words are so important to me. It can make or break a legend, words live forever if there is someone to read it! (and understand it) so despite having a life and being busy, I shall make an effort to pen down my thoughts on a more regular basis. Till next time! Be nice!

Labels: Elle, HELLO, Insanity, Mum, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Random Mandoms, Religion, ryan pwns asses, School, The Queen, Weird Shiz

ooh. life is actually.

well.

it's actually the same.


I think I'm learning to deal with it better? I've been dealing with my parents SUPERBLY. and I've learnt how to control my temper with them. HO HO I am so proud of myself. I try not to think about how depressing it is too much. Sigh, 21. When I'm 21 I'll deal with it again. I AM STILL LIKE SO AWESOME.


I actually really want to be an air stewardess. HAHA. It's kinda like, my childhood dream. I mean maybe just work and travel for 2 years. Wow. See the world before I settle down. Wow. That will never happen. Wow. My mum will ask "WHERE'S YOUR TUDUNG?"

Mampos. Wow.



I am studying very diligently this sem :) WEEEEE, this time a 4.0 is very possible, IF SOMEBODY HUH, there's a SOMEBODY who is in all of my groups and is EXTREMELY IRRITATING, as if the drama last year wasn't enough. You better not be leeching off me and refuse to share your answer with me okay? DISGUSTING. I hate people, I hate working with people, I hate group work and projects RAWWWRRR but surprisingly people think I'm a people person because of my extroverted personality. HAHA little do they know HOW BITCHYYYYY I AMM.



WHICH, I am trying to tone down :( I mean really, I don't want to be like that but some people are just begging for it, seriously. So if everyone would just do me a favour and leave me alone, I LIKEEEEEE being alone! omg such a drastic change, but when I need to do work or study or some serious shit, I need solitude. I focus better. Sigh, I'm too easily distracted.
(HAHA after typing out this post half way i went on to facebook lololol okok I'm back)



I am also trying to lose weight, or rather decrease my appetite because eversince Hokes came into my life, he turned me into a pig. I also want to tone my body because Hokes the beloved likes playing with my flab and oh god the thunder thighs. non-stop suaning there :(
haha but jwong says that weight gain is a sign of a healthy relationship.
OKAAAY I guess that's a good thing but I have no desire to end up being a fat flabby walrus, NAH UH, so I shall start training for my napfa too :)

I need more time to do things caz I feel like doing so many things!




Went to Hokes' POP where he'll get a sexy blue beret, haha I have to say his cousin seriously keep cracking me up. lmao siao. and Hokes looks adorable and HOKES PAPA IS SO FUNNY AHAHAHAHHA he was the first to spot Hokes in the parade square (AWWW PAPA!) and then when he tried to take a picture of hokes, HE ZOOMED IN AND TOOK SOMEBODY ELSE'S FACE HAHAHHA HOKES PAPA HOW CAN YOU RECOGNISE YOUR SON FROM FAR AND NOT IN CLOSE UP ZOOOOMED BAHAHAHA OMG SHO KEWT I CANNOT TAHAN.


omg seriously Hokes' family is sho funny through out the whole thing keep laughing, and omg we kept dissing the place too ahahaha aiyo so cute.




:)
I will always try to be my best :)

Labels: Elle, Insanity, Morning Madness, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Random Mandoms, School, The Queen

I do not know what I'm doing on blogger when I should be sleeping nao nao nao. God I am exhausted. I am so exhausted. I am so exhausted from being exhausted.
Nom nom nom.


Damn FYP my holiday is flying flying flying past. Here I am rushing my work and it's the holidays! I do not even feel the holiday mood. I am working like the devil with a sense of purpose, drive and determination, if I had exams now I would ace it caz I would have the mood to study and memorise every damn thing. No wait, if I had exams now I would die caz I'd be swamped- no, severely overworked.

And here I thought I could sleep in till 1pm but nooo I'm waking up early everyday to go to school, then rush down to tutor my PSLE kids, and rush down many times per week because PSLE IS NEXT WEEK FAAAART FART FART I really hope hope hope my kid'll do well. Sighhhh :( Then my Sec 1 kid's exam is a coupla weeks after PSLE so the stress isn't gonna end anytime soon.


I have a full day ahead of me tmr and yet I wish with all my might that Hokes won't feel too bummed in army. I mean I know army is supposed to toughen you up and all, but listening to it? Ugh, I wouldn't survive in army. Not physically, mentally. Seriously, I would like to sue the administration and revamp the entire thing. I am very sure, with a more EFFICIENT administration, everything can be done and learnt within 10 months. or less. looking at the way they're handling things now. useless bums.


And no, I'm not being anal STFU I'm just a perfectionist about certain things. And knowing that people are being unproductive eats me inside out because I have a thing against wasting life. Life is short, I myself don't have enough time to do everything I want to, accomplish everything I want to, and watching 2 years of lameness kinda ticks me haha.


Cheer up, chubby bunny! Are you still chubby? :D



On a happier note, I am SO DAMN CONTENTED because I am not moody. My god, you just have to be in my shoes when I'm PMSing, you'd feel like shit. Like literally shit. Like you just wanna run roll lie on the ground, kick slap jump, shake shake shake your headddddd and get rid of the shitty feeling. You feel restless and depressed and hate every god damn thing for being so so stupid lame.


I'm quite sad that my PMSes are so severe. I fear they might take over my life. They could even possibly be an alternate personality. Wowzers.
But it feels kinda good now because I'm feeling healthy stress not brain eating stress. I'm feeling the sense of urgency and worry but I'm not stressed to the point I'm going OH ^%%$# oh $@$%# letmedienowplease and I'm coping pretty fine. I'm actually happy. I'm happy eventhough army is eating into my Saturdays with Hokes, I'm okay with it, though poor dear kinda bummed abt it. *hugs*
I'm happy eventhough bird poop on my arm, eventhough FYP and tuition is worrying me endlessly, eventhough I hate some people, eventhough my parents are acting up (BUT I AM DEALING WITH IT WONDERFULLY OMG SURPRISINGLY) eventhough I am in debt, so badly in debt, I'm happy eventhough I don't smile.



I wish people would stop misunderstanding each other. I'm too damn tired to explain myself properly all the damn time, and people shouldn't have to explain themselves all the time so if you'd judge a little less, this post wouldnt mean anything much. What I do wouldn't mean anything much. sometimes people just dont know how to give other people a break and feel the need to intrude and impose your views on everyone or rather share your witty comments with the world caz yeah you're so smart wow
*rolls eyes*
and no, no one actually did this to me, it's just something I observed. if you thought otherwise, you should mind your own beeswax and obviously have been judging and forming impressions and analyzing a little too much.

Also, I'm too tired to smile. But I've been enjoying myself. In a I-wanna-close-my-eyes-and-lean-back-WITHOUTSMILING kinda enjoy myself. Leave me alone!



Bonne Mama jams are so damn expensive but so damn delicious.

Labels: Elle, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Random Mandoms, School, The Queen

I just want to eat something. Or sleep.


But I can't caz I gotta wait till 12 midnight to take my meds.



Rawr?


Okay I guess since I haven't been blogging, I should finish this post proper. Well see, the reason I haven't been blogging is because I don't feel the need to. Amazing isn't it? I always thought it was an outlet, one of the more essential outlets in my life because if I don't blow off steam here, I'd morph into one of the most crazy bitch this planet has ever seen.

I guess I'm changing again? Haha I don't come online often, and when I do I don't feel like talking to anyone. And if I've got something on my chest I need to vomit out, there's Hokes who's perpetually asking me regarding my well-being so how not to tell the lovely boy? Well, actually I do enjoy talking to him, I don't know how he puts up with me, really I don't because while I was being such a bitch, I even annoyed myself.

I'm lucky :D

Let's see, today started off crappy. First thing in the morning a bird shat on my arm. It was warm. Awesome. Warm white poop dripping down my right arm and people around were sniggering and holding their laughter. GLAAAAD I MADE YOUR DAAAAY.

So I had to wipe it off with paper since I didn't bring any tissue, and walked all the way to the train station's toilet before I can wash my arm.
Oh god talk about gross.


What a bad mannered bird. You shouldn't poop so inconsiderately. Look at hamsters, they know how to poop in a corner. You wouldn't like someone pooping on you would you?



On a less disgusting note, recently went over to Hoke's godsis's place. Apparently, his family has alot of these family gatherings which I find very nice and wish my family had more of these. I think we used to but my parents kinda screwed relations in my family. Ah well. Maybe it was me. I don't know. I love all of you, you know? Sigh. Even though I don't know how to express it properly.

ANYWAYS, Hokes and his bros and cousins went to the room to play Wii and omg it was hilarious. I've never laughed to hard in ages. :D I was afraid to intrude on family time, you know how people tend to be more comfortable with their own family rather than outsiders but I learned from life that if you try, they'll try too and I think everyone got along just fine :D

The most epic Wii moment was when we were playing this mini game called B.R.U.S.H. by some bunny game and you're supposed to move the controller according to the actions on screen.

Like you move up and down when it's a toothbrush to brush your teeth.
Left and right for a razor to shave your chin.


EPIC MOMENT: I moved up and down when I saw a razor (accident! I swear!) and my bunny started razoring his teeeth hahahahahaha with sparks flying hahahaha omg I swear I laughed so hard I couldn't play the rest of the game properly xD


Went to Island Creamery for dessert and MMMMMMM YUMMEHZ. I talked more to Hokes' brothers more in a day than I have in the entire 6 months I've known them. And they seriously crack me up.

SAW CASS NGGGGG ♥ who was with her classmates, gave her a hug but left caz the family split into 2 groups, adult and kids and kids corner were at MacDs where Hokes' 2nd bro was feasting. Conversations includes Mac and Microsoft debate which is something I have no stand on at the moment.

(I can't judge caz I've never used a Mac- and you need to be a regular user before you can properly judge)

Oh oh and Hokes' nieces are uber adorableeeee. I kept stealing them and carrying the younger one (I seriously had to control myself from raining her with hugs and kisses) the older one seems friendly with me now, she constantly try to get my attention WHICH I LOVE caz she always ignore me the previous times I've seen her.

Hahahaha I like his family alrdy. I need to thank so many of them I'm losing count. They were awfully nice and welcoming and awwww :')



Oh did I mention we tried to cook pasta for lunch that day? And kinda failed caz it tasted weird and funny but still alright, we finished up our meal and Hokes' 2nd bro went for seconds HAHA yeah his bro ate our cooking hahahahahaha epicccc.


:) Wii is officially the coolest thing on earth according to me. :D I'm so gonna save up for one in future :D:D And omg can someone please please please buy me Season 1-6 of Grey's Anatomy so I can sit and eat chips and go on a Grey's marathon. That would be awesome shit.


I MISS HOKES the dodo is in armyyyy and I won't see him till Sundayyyy gaaaaayyy. Ryan has been keeping me company with random heartwarming short emails and texts and our occasional go-crazy-and-retardedly-random conversations at night when I actually bother coming online. Other than that, Hokes and seeing Cass Lee for FYP, that's the only human connection I get apart from my family.


Told you I'm antisocial.
I'm pretty much alone these days, but I'm not lonely. I kinda like it. I was lonely once. It was at night and I was emo (as usual, I'm always emo at night) but Ry cheered me up :) That was also when I was PMS-ing.

I'm actually quite contented with life, despite irritating Singaporeans, FYP, tutoring and stuffs that has kept me from enjoying my hols. But yeah, life is boring, slow, monotonous, routine-d and uneventful save for random things like Hokes' family gathering, I'm not worrying.

I think I've accepted that I screwed up my life and now the only thing you can do is make the best of it. And I am, and enjoying it too. I hope this feeling lasts caz the next time I PMS I'm gonna ruin it all and feel like shit again.

And wow. This is a pretty long post. Not bad.
:)

Labels: Babies, DVD, Elle, Insanity, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Random Mandoms, ryan pwns asses, School, The Queen, Weird Shiz

#1 How I'm such a Beeyatch.
Inspired by my brother when I asked him what I should blog about.

Beeyatch(n): An unpleasant, rude girl.


1) When I was in the bus. I saw Fauzi and Shaun. I said hi. They said, Why don't you have a seat (refers to window seat in front). A woman was sitting next to that seat (aisle seat). I said, DONT WANT. I DONT WANNA CLIMB OVER MOUNT EVEREST. She looked up at me, smiled apologetically, and moved in.

:O
BEEYATCH!


2) I make racist jokes to my brother about his dark skin colour everyday. He finds it so funny, he can't help laughing along.

:O
BEEYATCH!


3) I scold people in the lab loudly but indirectly for being slobs. "WHO THE HELL NEVER REFILL PIPETTE TIPS HUH? LIKE NEVER DO LAB BEFORE LIKE THAT WAH LAO."

:O
BEEYATCH!


4) When someone hit my leg accidentally with his shopping bags, I apologised. When he just ignored me, I screamed," YOU HIT PEOPLE LEG THEN NEVER APOLOGISE!" Much to the shock of Hokes and the people around me. The D-bag walked away ignoring me. (to be fair, my leg hurt a hell alot)

:O
BEEYATCH!


5) I did all of these things without feeling bad for being a beeyatch.


:O

ENOUGH, I shall now mend my ways. PATIENCE is once again key.

Labels: Angry Bombs, Bitch-mode, Elle, Insanity, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Questionable, The Queen

HOKES
Khalisah! I choose you!

KHALISAH
You think what? I Pokemon ah?

HOKES
Hahaha yes, do you know what type of Pokemon you would be?

KHALISAH
What? Snorlax? I bet you're gonna say I'm like Snorlax or something.

HOKES
Nope.

KHALISAH
Then?

HOKES
Electric type. You know why?

KHALISAH
Huh? Why?

HOKES
Caz you have Thunder Thighs!

KHALISAH
...

HOKES
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

KHALISAH
You're an ass. *SMACKS*

Labels: Chat Log, Elle, Insanity, Of Hokums and Honeystars, The Queen

Hate the world. Hate yourself for hating the world.





I have not been tweeting or blogging.
I know.


I've lost the urge to pen anything down. Totally lost it. All I do is lay awake at night thinking. Muse to myself. Come up with theories about life. Wonder why I bother.
I have no mood for any songs, cept those that make me cry. I'm not even talking about sad songs. I'm talking about songs that literally makes you cry. Well, literally makes me cry.

There's a corner of your heart just for me.
I would pack my bags, just to stay in the corner of your heart.
Just to stay in the corner of your heart.

I cried.



I am so beyond the world ridiculous.


I am confused. I think nobody understands me. I think I am very easy to understand. Why do you not understand me? I make the most sense in the world. Ryan understands me. I think. At least he makes me think he understands me. It doesn't matter.
Hokes understands me. I think. I fear I would never find anyone quite like him. Not even close.
Sometimes, I'm glad no one understands me. Sometimes, when people say," I understand." I want to scream. No you don't. You don't. If you did, you'd be feeling what I'm feeling. The gravity of the situation. You don't understand.
The same whirl of emotions would engulf you as it did me.
You don't understand.

Maybe you do understand. But you don't care enough. Because it's not you. So which is it?

You've just witnessed another failed attempt at another one of my theories.



This is different.
This is something Starbucks can't cure.
Something walking in the fields with the wind can't blow away. Probably would worsen my state of mind.
I think I'm bipolar.
Yeah right.
I'm just female. Ruled by hormones. I wonder what I'm like without those hormones. I probably wouldn't be me. But does that mean hormones = me?
WTF AM I ON ABOUT?

O_O



I don't know what I want. Just like everybody else.
No.
No I'm different.
I don't how to get what I want.


Just like everybody else.
No.
I'm no different.




Love (maybe),
Elle

Labels: Elle, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Random Mandoms, ryan pwns asses, The Queen

So my body as been weak, down with influenza right after my birthday.
Hurrah really.

A week of sick is torture, especially when I have work to do and the last thing I want to be doing is lying in bed, trust me, I JUST GOT MY DRIVE TO WORK why do you take it all away from me with a little bit of swine flu?

:'(

They refuse to tell you if you're down with swine flu now, gah. Whatevs. Being rushed to the A&E at 2 am in the morning and have the doctor poking your handS with needleS. NO FUN.

Bloody service was terrible! Here I am fainting away from the fever and yet the waiting time is worse than your average polyclinic. Hello? This is A&E. You're supposed to be fast, people, fast.
Finally left the hospital at 6am. My god, 4 hours there.
TALK ABOUT SLOW.

I refuse to stay on in the hospital after my drip finished. It reached a point I would rather die at home tyvm.

The drugs put me to sleep, restless sleep as I cough my lungs out everynight.

I missed school for a week to my great distress.


Sigh
And now that school is starting tomorrow, a mountain of work to welcome me back, plus tuition work, good lord.
My brain still hurts oh I dread the pain.
My birthday however, I must say, was a good one. One of the best these recent years, (best in my own memory in fact) Hokes was the sweetest, he bought me my favourite Davidoff Game Perfume :) :)

I gave him a hundred thousand huge smacking kisses for that :)

HOW THOUGHTFUL OF YOUUU
Eventhough I think I must have gushed about it too much, and dragged you to department stores to spray some tester perfume on my wrists and breathe the wondrous scent in like a long time druggie far too often on our outings.

Sigh
you make me sho happy :')


Not forgetting my other friends too, surprising me with cake (aww sho sweet!) spamming my sms inbox and facebook wall and twitter.
Thank you all! Even if I never did reply you caz honestly this was worse than last year BUT I TRIED REPLYING THOSE ON FB OKAY so see? I tried so it's not my fault.



I miss you internets! For the entire duration of my sick leave, not once have I touched my laptop, no, not once, woe be unto me! The internet junkie. Without the internets.

Indeed.

Tomorrow.
The mad rush begins.


(I seriously need to change my bed sheets.)

Labels: Elle, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Photo Log

I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR!



Hahahahahaha

I remember when Hokes first introduced this vid to me. Every time anyone (including Hokes) says "You!" I'd scream "I WANNA TAKE YOU TO THE GAY BAAAAAR!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Labels: Elle, Joke, Of Hokums and Honeystars, The Queen, Videos

I am ridiculously busy that I don't even have time for my FYP! Which is troubling because FYP is number one on my priority list. Unfortunately, the school is stupid to put FYP slots that aren't in sync with my project partner's slot. And our project requires us to work together. Tada! We had very little time for FYP to begin with. In addition, lab closes at 5pm everyday. Grrreaaatt.

I'm snuggled up in bed with hot milk tea, and I'm making an effort to blog despite my hectic schedule. I think blogging is therapeutic. My stress threshold is much higher when I empty my head of excessive musings onto the blog. It's like having a reflection session. Makes me think. And unthink.

Monday
-9am to 11am classes.
-12pm onwards, work @ Prudential.
Tuesday
-8am to 3pm classes.
-3pm onwards, FYP.
Wednesday
-9am to 1pm, work @ Prudential
-2pm to 5pm classes.
Thursday
-10am to 3pm classes.
-3pm to 4pm, FYP
-5.30pm to 7pm, giving tuition.
Friday
-10am to 5pm classes.
Saturday
-11am to 12.30pm, giving tuition.
-1.30pm to 6pm, Hokes quality time.
-8pm to 11pm, Sat night religious classes.
Sunday
-11am to 12.30pm, giving tuition.
-12.30pm onwards stay at home. rest day/ family day.

So, as you can see. I'm really quite pathetic :(
And look! Only 4.5 hrs with Hokes every week! Don't use him as an excuse as to why I'm not available kay?! I'm available in the eveninggsss! I think it's just as well Hokes is in the army. I'm so busy I'd just end up neglecting him. And I know most of you get to see your bf/gf everyday or every other day so shush! Let me whine a little!

:D

I'm not bummed out that I don't see Hokes everyday though. The first 2 weeks was tough, because before that it was the holidays, and I'm so used to meeting him almost everyday. Like 3-5 times per week? And God, 2.5 weeks really feels like forever! But now I get to see him every weekend, so I'm fine :) I've got 2 of his tshirts! So his scent is keeping me company everynight yayyy. Though I'm a little worried about how he's coping in field camp. 6 days in the jungle. Eating food rations. Sleeping on cold hard ground. Aiyo, I think he's gonna lose weight. (Surprisingly he didn't lose weight during the first 2 weeks! yay!) Awww, don't lose weeeeiightt leh hokes. :( Aiyo aiyo the poor dear :(

Tsk, I miss him. Lmao.
Weekends are excitinggggg hehehehehehehehe!


Lmao.



Tomorrow would be my first day on the new job @ Prudential. It's kinda worrying. Because I'm currently the only one working on the project so the pressure is on me, and if I don't get at least 15 people to turn up for the conference then well... I'm screwed. What a thoroughly humiliating possibility.
:(
I'm so nervous lmao. Okay okay, relax kt. You can do itttt :)


I'm going to bed now :) So I can wake up bright an early for work tmr.
Goodnight!

Labels: Elle, Insanity, Of Hokums and Honeystars, School, The Queen

I'm listening to Ingrid Michaelson and emo-ing. I know not why, but this feeling seems to always resurface at night when I'm alone. I used to be much too immersed in conversations with Ryan and Jacob and such, those msn regulars. And when slowly they left, I had Hokes to tell me bedtime stories or have deep intense 7 hr conversations about life, religion, philosophy and all random things.

Now,
I feel so alone.

And it's nobody fault, really. I'm an independent girl. I'm just not an emotionally strong person, as Jacob pointed out. And usually, I'm okay being by myself. Just not at night. I really should try to get over this. I am a girl, who is seriously lacking faith.

Faith in everything really.

Religion.
Love.
People.


I'm just a walking cause of disappointment to everyone around me.

I disappointed my parents. Friends. Ryan. Jacob.
And my gut tells me I'm gonna disappoint Hokes. Like everyone else. Eh. Actually I already have disappointed him. Hah.
Disappointing people must be my niche.


I'm a tangled mess of contradictions. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Is that the popular quote? Correct me if I'm wrong.
If that quote is true, then what's the point of me having good intentions all the time?



I don't know why, but everytime Hokes talks about religion to me a wave of anxiety engulfs me. I mean, it's good that he'd like to know more about the religion but, I'm deathly afraid. I don't want people to believe in something just because I do.
I want them to believe in it because that's what they want. That's what they believe in. And has nothing to do with me.

I think, I'm secretly afraid, that Hokes will learn about the religion, understand it, but is unable to believe in it.
I cannot.
I just.
Cannot.
I cannot accept you if you don't share my beliefs.

I'm sorry. I choose religion over love. If one day, should I disappoint you too, let this at least be clear. Oh god, why am I crying? Haha, sheesh ever the emokid me.

Religion is like, principles. Strong strong principles which I use to govern and live my life by. Though time and time again I go against my own principles and shame myself, it is nevertheless a part woven into the fabrics of my existence and will never go away.

In case you haven't already realised, I don't particularly like myself. And I don't like that fact too, it means I have low self-esteem. But I don't. And I try and try to be the best I possibly can, but I keep letting myself and everyone down. Okay, I'll try harder.


I shall start with prayers.
I shall work towards not missing prayers. I shall begin praying again. I hope God can help guide me back. Back to the place where I started from. So I can begin everything anew.

After prayers, I shall rectify my diet. Then, perhaps, one day, I can love myself enough to rectify my sense of dressing.



I want to be a good friend. But I don't really know how. I don't know the right things to do at the right times. But I do know that I want to help yous. Just tell me how.

It's funny, how I'm so old already, yet I'm still trying to find myself. Find who I really want to be. And to think I tell people to just be yourself. I should practice what I preach. Unfortunately, easier said than done.



Recently, I rediscovered why I love my religion.
What a joy! I feel happy. And sad at the same time. And yet that glimmer of hope inside my cold black heart bathes me with such warmth it makes me shudder.
It must be the way Uztaz Zulkeflee puts things into perspective. He has a way about him. He's probably the one who moved countless converts' hearts. Like my Dad. Dad said he learnt from this man before he even converted. And Dad also said that Uztaz Zulkeflee understands the problems of the converts more than the converts could themselves.


I really like him. He's a dear old man. His voice is strained, because he recovered from a massive stroke two years ago. He moves slowly, but he has such a cheerful face. Constantly smiling. And such kind kind eyes. He makes you feel so comfortable about him.

Here are his teachings that I found very enlightening.


The 7 Significant Verses of The Quran

1)Surat At-Tawbah 9:15

Say:"Nothing will happen to us except what Allah has decreed for us; He is our protector" and on Allah let the Believers put their trust.

We must believe that both good and bad things come from God. And trust in God whatever he throws you. So if God has decreed that you won't die yet, then no matter what negative things happen, you still won't die yet. Only God can control such matters.

Good things and bad things are both tests. While bad things are testing for your patience and faith in God, good things tests for your gratitude (syukur)

Conditions of Syukur
1) acknowledge who gives you the favour : God
2) value God's favour to mankind (even the small things)
3) use whatever favour God has given you in a way that pleases him



My personal musings: I think it's wonderful. It teaches you to be appreciative about everything. Uztaz Zulkeflee gave an example that relates to his life. When he was down with stroke and was bedridden, people came to him and pitied him. But he laughed and said, "No! It is you whom I pity! For while God tests me on my patience, God is testing you on your gratitude (syukur)" And surely, being grateful is much harder no? :) So I really should stop wallowing in emo nemoness :)


I'm afraid I'll have to continue the teachings some other time because it's 1 am and I need sleep caz class starts early tmr. Haha, and I've stopped being emo. I think it's a combination of re-reading the teachings of the Uztaz and Ryan talking to me :)

Labels: Chat Log, Elle, Emo Nemo, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Questionable, Quote, Religion, ryan pwns asses, The Queen

The BFF is over at my placeeeee.

haha she's stealing my pretty letter writing pads and writing letters randomly to random people and watching awesome songs on youtube by Andy McKee and Antoine Dufour and I'm letting her listen to PaperBag's songs and she's waiting for Sleeping Beauty to be done streaming so we can watch it (YES, we are in Disney Mood) I have OneRepublic on iTunes and we're singing along to it while she's on her phone with her BF, while mine is in the JUNGLEEEEE this very moment, I hope he's okay :/

Spent the last 3 days with Hokes, yay! :) I have a huge reserve of happy juice to last me till next week :) So I think I'll be fine :) :)

OMG Cassandra is being weird.

OMG I am disturbed.









AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



KHALISAH IS WEIRDER.










Cass said that.




Okay. I think I lost my mood to blog.
Heh.
I shall blog about philosophical musings and religion in my next post.
:)
I like Uztaz Zulkeflee. :) He's the guy whom my Dad learnt from before he converted.
I shall blog about him nexttt.


Time for Oreos!

Labels: Elle, HELLO, Insanity, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Questionable, Random Mandoms, The Queen, Weird Shiz

Strangely, I feel so at peace now!


Hahahaha


I've had dinner.
I'm chatting with Jwong.

I don't know why I'm in such a good mood. Well not really good mood. Just feel so... serene.


cookies starbucks movies stolen kisses long talks cuddles bedtime stories tshirts to breathe your scent in deep reminiscence early morning naps nature walks breakfast sets jokes laughter endless staring tickles teasing I don't walk right not like I used to there's a jump in my step as I rush to see you I could be happy here as long as you're near to me as long as you're close to me now that I'm alright as I'm trying I can help you out just to keep things right I'll be what you need goodbye apathy so goodbye apathy


I think.
I shall read a book :)

Labels: Elle, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Questionable, Random Mandoms, The Queen, Weird Shiz

The more I read Alfred's blog post, the more irritated I get.

Not only is he completely blind to whatever I'm saying, he still thinks he's in the right?

I'm wrong? Is it? I'm wrong?

Okay, I'm horrendously evil. I extract myself from this stupid petty fight.


You want to be angry with me? Go ahead, I'm not gonna bother wasting my energy being angry at something so stupid.



Yes Alfred, you're the only one who failed two modules. Yes Alfred, you're the only one whose parents are being asses. Yes Alfred, you so poor thing, have to be so independent, support yourself and your school fees.

SO POOR THING. POOR YOU AWWWWW.


I mean, ***** probably feels so much better than you, she's supporting herself AND her family while her father was retrenched and struggling to help the family pay the bills.

Oh, **** feels awesome too, when her parents are currently going through a divorce.


And ***** is gonna be alright because his father has a mistress.
Wow, you have no idea how many people I know who have families breaking apart. Really. But it's personal so obviously, I'm not gonna start listing them.


How bout the countless others who lost a loved one? or loved ones?



You want pity is it? Huh Alfred? Is the only thing youre gonna do is resign to your bad luck and horrible life, and not do anything about it? Is your life that horrible that you can't see anything at all that you could possibly be happy about? Possibly appreciate?



Btw, I have never. Pangseh-ed anyone, for Hokes. The only one time I pangseh-ed you, I told you the reason why already. And everytime I go out with Hokes, it's because he booked me, ensuring that I have no prior plans with any one of you first. And if I need to emergency pangseh Hokes for any of you, I would. And he would definitely understand. But just that SHORT ONE WEEK. One week. 7 days. Just because I prioritize him first, does not mean I don't have an hour or 2 to spare for you at all. And after that one week, I am so bloody available?! So I don't see the issue of me ditching friends for boyfriend kinda shit coming up. Because eventhough I did say "I'm gonna spend every waking moment with Hokes." I would never abandon you when youre in a crisis. If you believed i meant that literally, then I shall say with gusto,

You are a fucking idiot! HAHA!

So JUST BECAUSE I GET EXCITED TO MEET HOKES and just because I don't jump around when I've plans with you guys, does not make me a hypocrite.



You know damn well that if you needed me, I'd be there for you. Don't be so wishy washy. Say things CLEARLY.

Need examples?

"Khalisah, I need to talk to you. Yes. Now."


"Khalisah are you free now? I need to talk to you. Can I call you? Or you call me?"


"Khalisah, I feel like shit. Get back to me asap."



If something is not alright DON'T ACT AS IF IT IS. IF YOU ACT AS IF IT IS then I will assume it's too personal to talk about it so I WONT ASK YOU IF YOURE ALRIGHT. I don't like to probe. It makes me feel like a kepo.

I'm not a psychic, and I may not know what's the right thing to do all the time. But I try my best to at least be there for you. If you won't tell me, how would I know?


Lastly, I don't know why I must justify myself. If I wanna pon lesson I pon lah. Why cannot? At least I did my assignment. At least I bothered. At least I have an attitude to want to do well. YOU don't. That's the difference between us. You just give up. Just like that. I have an issue with your attitude. Attitude.

And to think I forgot all about being angry at you for making me wait 2 hours for you. You're being kinda selfish, don't you think?



My advice.
Go read your own blog.
LISTEN TO YOURSELF.

And listen to how retarded you sound.

Wake up.

Labels: Bitch-mode, Elle, Hissy Fit, Of Hokums and Honeystars, School, The Queen

I know it's a Wednesday but I really have no mood to blog.


Until now! haha!


So, anyway, on Monday, I woke up reeeeaaall early to go all the way down to Hokes' place. I had breakfast with him and his parents, of which they paid for my meal (how nice! I must remember to pay hokes back) They then drove me down to the SAF jetty thingy where we're to take a ferry to Tekong!

And his parents are sooo awesome, they gave me a coupon to join them!


SO, I went onboard the ferry, we saw Hokes' waterpolo friend WHO ALSO LOOKS HILARIOUS BALD hahahahaha seriously xD

We arrived on Pulau Tekong and we gotta split up so Hokes and the other boys had to settle administrative issues (like uniform sizes and bunk rooms and all that jazz) while me and Hokes' parents were given a tour around Tekong.

I was kinda afraid to be left alone with his parents, caz I've never been alone with them before, but my worries were unfounded caz they were awfully nice and I feel surprisingly comfortable with them. We boarded the bus, and this army dude starting talking and he kept assuring us that our sons will be fine and the facilities are awesome and they will be comfortable and even more safe here under the awesome supervision of the army dudes ah whatever. I know you're gonna give poor Hokes hell. hahahaha IT'S OKAY. HE WILL LEARN HOW TO BE A MAN. suuuuure hahaha stupid.


We saw the bunks and the canteen and the training grounds and it really looks like a school. It looks like Crescent HAHA the colours are like beigey like in crescent. Now I have the impression that army is like a more horrible version of OBS with shitty instructors and you wake up at 4.30 am every day.

The food there is supposedly better today since the family is here, but it's still below average tasting. I can't imagine the food when we're not there. I bet it taste shitty hehehe TOO BAD. Hokes, you have to learn to stop being picky. Please don't lose weight. Sigh, I like you just the way you are now.

We went to the auditorium and sat in comfy seats and air-condition. Listened to the most boring speech in the world about how awesome army is and what they're gonna do and their purpose and whatnots I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER IT NOW maybe that's their real intention hahaha.

Then they had to take the oath.

Which is FREAKING FUNNY I LAUGHED OUT LOUD.



dude in-charge: Repeat after me. 'I'.

boys: I.

dude in-charge: 'NRIC number'

boys: (verbal vomit. everyone says their IC number at the same time hahahahaha)

dude in-charge: 'name'.

boys: (more verbal vomit hahahahahahaha)

dude in-charge: 'will swear to protect bla bla bla'

boys: will swear to protect blabblabla


Hahahahahaha


So we had a final lunch with the boys before they had to line up and march to their bunks and I gave Hokes a final goodbye kiss and hug sighhh.



Hokes: Mee, Pa, take care of yourselves k? (turns to me) You take care of yourself too k?

Mamee and Pa: Mmm.(nods)

Hokes: Mee, take care of her for me k?

Mamee: NO. I THROW HER AWAY.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Pa:

Hokes:

Mamee: Of course I take care of her lah! Aiyo. Then what? I throw her away ah?

Me: HAHAHAAHHAHAA

Pa:

Hokes:

Mamee: You ah.

Hokes: Okok you take care of youself too k? Bye bye!



Lmao seriously, I can make a comedy out of the conversations I hear.


His parents are seriously adorable, I feel like they're my own parents really. Pa was always all today very hot, must drink more water and so I'd drink water from the bottle. And Mee (Hokes calls his parents Pa and Mee. Mee as in from Mummy. you know. ah whatevs hahaha) would call me young lady at first, telling me to be careful and watch my step when we're boarding/alighting the ferry or bus or when we're walking down the stairs. Then she took to calling me dear and asked me if there's any food I wanna get, joking with me about army dudes hahaha she once thought that this army dude fully uniformed with green and black face paint and all was a statue! and she almost poked his face AHAHAHAAH and then she started laughing to herself when she realised it was a real man lmao didn't I say they were adorable?

While Mee was away talking to the whoever it is in charge of Hokes' company, I sat down in the canteen with Pa and we constantly had funny conversations. (I found them funny and cute actually) Pa would ask me about my school and course and universities and what Hokes applied to, and it would lead to me asking him about Hokes' brothers. We talked about PK and SL (the brothers) and what course PK was in and how I'm in the same year as his cousin and seeing as we're all from NP too.

Then during the talk about army equipment and uniform, Pa asked me if I've ever been on the Tekong tour and asked me if I had a brother and I said yeah but he's younger and Pa would tell me how my bro would go through this too and how good it is for him but we ended up talking about SL(the first brother) in army previously and how PK is going into army soon (the second brother) I don't think I've ever heard his Dad talked so much before, he's always a quiet looking man hahahaha.
Maybe I ask too many questions? Or he likes talking about his sons. HE'S ADORABLE DID I MENTION THAT? hahahaha omg i'm so weird.



After hokes left, in the ferry on the way back to Sg, Mee offered me some sour preserved peaches and they're yummy. All of us were so tired, walking around Tekong and IT WAS SO HOT. Blardy.


We walked back to the car, me chatting with Mee abit about fishing and then they drove me to Habourfront MRT station.

I was sleepy in the car so I stoned alot looking out the window, generally missing Hokes to bits.

Then, I overheard this really funny conversation between his parents. It's in English mixed with dialect and Mandarin. But they were mostly speaking in dialect or smth. Or maybe it's justt Mandarin but my ear got problem hahaha.


Mee: (was talking about PK for awhile. PK couldnt make it today. was relief teaching) You know, PK almost make one of his students cry you know?

Pa: Hmm.

Mee: Tsk that PK ah. At least he can control his students. Got discipline. Sumore he very big-sized.

Pa:

Mee: Wah... Song Loo cannot man. He sure cannot one.

Pa:

Mee: But PK can la. If Hoe Khoon... Aiya Hoe Khoon ah. Cannot make it lah. Hoe Khoon will go and play with the kids already.


HAHAHAHAHAHA
OMG I found that so hilarious I was grinning in the backseat hahahaha.



So they dropped me off outside Vivo and I thanked them and promised to drop by their shop soon to pass them something (HEHE DONT TELL YOU WHAT) And I slept in the train all the way home.


I miss you chubby bunny! I've been spamming him with smses all day so he can read them all at night, I know he'll be too tired to call and talk to me or it would be lights out and he cant call caz if the sarge walking around. So sms spam is nice :)
I'm an awesome girlfriend hahaha riiiight. On the ferry, before he left for army, I gave him my whistle necklace thingy. It's a small wooden less-than-an-inch-long rectangular whistle with black and silver design and my name on it. I had it made last year. It has a thick and long black string around and Hokes wanted it, so I gave it to him to keep him company in army :)

I also gave him my ugly alumni card with my face on it, caz he wanted a picture of me and I forgot to print one. We didnt think of it earlier :( Hokes gave me his blue ezlink card with his retarded sec 1 face on it HAHAHAHA the exact same hairstyle he has now. awwwwww :)


Mee thinks his botak hairstyle now is adorable, so geram you know, he looks like when he was younger last time hahahaha.



Before he left, Hokes also gave me the t-shirt he wore the night before. It has his scent on it :) And I keep breathing in the scent sighh, he smells good :) But the scent is fadingggg :(



I miss you.


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I'm not used to this.

Labels: Brother, Chat Log, Elle, Of Hokums and Honeystars, The Queen, Weird Shiz

I know I haven't been blogging. I'm sorry, I've been real busy with FYP and Hokes is going into army ON MONDAY SO I WILL SPEND EVERY WAKING MOMENT WITH HIM, and yes I will ditch all of you for more time with Honeystar.

I've got tonnes of things to blog about so..

too bad I guess.




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HAHAHAHAHA WATCH THIS.

Labels: Elle, Emo Nemo, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Questionable, Random Mandoms, School, The Queen, Videos, Weird Shiz

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I freaking love Michaelson.

Labels: Elle, Music, Of Hokums and Honeystars, Questionable, The Queen