Now,
I know I'm supposed to take my anxiety pills every morning, but I don't (teehee) BECAUSE (I wonder if I've said this before) I hate medicine.
I really do.
It's not the taste, or the swallowing or anything.
I'm perfectly fine with it.
It's the idea of taking medicine.
As far as possible, I'd like to train my antibodies and stuff.
Like, make them uber strong to defeat anything ill causing.
And if I need medicine like antibiotics to get well, then alright I'll take it, caz you know, antibiotics to fight the bacteria and stuff.
BUT PAINKILLERS?
Nevah. I'll live with the pain.
And oh my god, anxiety pills?
That's twice as retarded.
I mean I only eat it caz it cost me 70 forking bucks. So yeah, I don't wanna throw 70 bucks away.
But as far as possible, I'm gonna PSYCHO myself into being NOT anxious and PSYCHO myself into sleeping right.
Which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't, but it definitely takes a whole lot of my energy.
It zaps me of everything seriously. I try sooo hard, that I barely have the energy to do anything else.
I know, I know.
But yes, I am a fan of Pon and Zi and Jeff Thomas (the guy who drew them)
And there's a very tragic story behind him but now he's finally going back to an awesome art school and omg I FEEL IRRATIONALLY HAPPY FOR HIM.
Like, if I had friends who went through shit, and finally, life rights itself again for them, I'd sincerely be retardedly happy for them, but Jeff Thomas is like, some dude, that I've never met nor conversed with. But I feel happy for him.
Strange.
And the Pon and Zi pic above made me smile :)
ANYWAY, people around when have been commenting about my behavior WHICH I FIND STRANGE, because I feel fine. Really. Sometimes I just don't feel like talking or just too lazy to make facial expressions or my usual retarded verbal vomit, but that's just because trying to stay awake zaps my energy, so I become extra lazy even with the smallest things. Including smiling. So no, I'm not sad, or depressed OR WHATEVER SHIT, I'm fine.
You know, when you have to stay up all night to finish something really important, like how your body just wants to sleep so badly, but you're awake because the sheer importance of what you have to finish keeps you from sleeping, so your eyes are open?
You know that feeling?
I feel like that every single day.
In bright sunny daylight.
I feel like I'm keeping myself awake.
It's not hard. But it's not easy either.
And it's also kinda strange how all my friends realised how weird I've become and not my family.
Strange.
And I've decided I never really changed when it comes to tutoring kids.
Kids make me feel so... right.
Like I'm doing what I have to do, and it's right and it's okay, and I stop feeling sleepy and my headaches stop and I'm not as ultra lethargic as I was.
I realised I digress alot and talk in circles, but that sufficiently illustrates how my train of thought is moving.
:/
Anyhoo,
the Chinese New Year madness is here,
so GONG XI FA CAI everyone! :D
OMGGGG I REMEMBER WHAT I WANTED TO BLOG ABOUT INITIALLYYYY.
hehehehehehe
I went shopping yesterday, with my bro and my mum to shop for CNY clothes fo my bro. I KNOW. SUPER last minute. But that's typical of my brother.
Now, my brother is a dweeb who has the inability to say what he really thinks.
So when he really likes something, he just shrugs.
When he hates something, he keeps quiet, or just turn away.
So I don't know why, but Mum hasn't figured this out. It seems only I can really read my family well enough.
So, every year, I complain to Mum about how atrocious my bro's sense of fashion is. It's embarrassing.
Seriously, if he doesn't look like a Karang Guni, he would look like an impoverished Kampung Boy. Singaporeans should know what those mean. Non-singaporeans, go google it or ask your Sg friends.
:D
So, I speed shopped, and told my bro to follow me.
And surprisingly, he really did.
He tried on everything I told him to. And I had to read his face to tell if he likes it or secretly hate it.
And it was a major success, I pried it out of him to say, "YES I REALLY LIKE THIS ONE."
He got himself this dark grey shirt, which he can choose to button up, or wear it over a dark dull maroon-ish red tee or an off-white tee which I paid for as a birthday present for him (it's his birthday tomorrow).
Wheee!
HE FINALLY LOOKS PRESENTABLE.
And I like the off-white one caz it has a sketch of headphones and stuff around the neck of the tee, which I thought was cool, if they had a girl one, I wouldve bought it. Tsk.
Mum was against it, she thought it wasn't worth the price, but my bro was stumbling over himself to try to get Mum to buy both until I offered to pay for the white one as a gift from me.
Mum still wasn't happy.
Yay!
This year, my bro is gonna look like he's celebrating an event. Not just gracing it with his boring oversized one-coloured polo tees and jeans.
I'm so happy !
:')
-15590
Words aren't ever sufficient. You gotta look at the eyes. The eyes never lie.
Labels: Brother, Elle, Emo Nemo, New Year, Photo Log, Random Mandoms, The Queen
