I think having older brothers is the coolest shit ever. Hokes has 2.
RAWR.


Hahaha.

Anyway.
I am.
So weird.


Just awhile ago I was having this major hissy fit, screaming at my parents and now I'm all chill.
I think I'm mental. Maybe I'm like bipolar or some shit like that.


But seriously. I was like having my dinner (which is cold packet noodles bought in the morning, why gee mum you shouldn't have) while watching TV. I was watching Dgreyman (however you spell that) and Dad came, took the remote, changed the channel to some stupid Chinese show about kungfu, emperors and revenge, without saying a word, just because he's angry about what happened a coupla hours ago.

Rude much?

I mean, you could have said, "I wanna watch my show now, Mummy's in the room praying."

I'd understand, I wouldn't even stop you.

But hell, just because you're my Dad doesn't mean you don't need to respect me.
This is where I go (in my mind), Fish you!


While Mum was screaming at me, (for no particular reason actually), she said I'm disgusting and that I air my family's dirty laundry and that I badmouth my family all the time, why don't you tell them what you did, you see if they agree with you or even like you. Yup, she said that.

So okay,
firstly, I'm not afraid of my actions. I don't do something at home and be afraid to let everyone know. I understand this is an asian culture thing about FACE so okay, I apologise, I shouldn't have ranted about my horribly shitass dysfunctional screwed up family on something as publicly accessible as a blog regardless of how low profile it is. (so low profile I bet only 2 people frequent this blog)


And secondly, my mum wants all of you to know I'm not an angel.


Did you think I was an angel? HAHA YOU SUCKERS.


Well, today, I told my mum to shut up. I was sarcastic to her. And well, umm. I just talked back. And screamed at her basically.
And when she wasn't listening, I called her a crazy retarded bitch under my breath.


Well, I can't help it.
Dad came out screaming, because Mum was screaming. He hates it when she nags. So do I. Dad was like, "SHUT UP LAH I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOUR VOICE SHUT UP DONT NAG CAN."

Thanks Dad. You are able to scream what I am unable to, less you hear me and kill me or something.

Then me and Mum had a screaming fit, so Dad came out again and kicked my laptop.
LIKE HELLO MY LAPTOP. If my laptop dies and I'm unable to finish my 5 FREAKING PROJECTS, I'll throw that useless damaged shit at your face can?


Apparently, he learnt from RELIGIOUS CLASS that you cannot hit your children on the head (And fork you, I'm 19 this year), so this time he didn't hit me (because my head was the only accessible part of me since I'm sitting behind my bed) he took it out on my laptop.


Screaming at mum while she screams at you back, is the most disgusting thing ever.
She really screams rubbish.
Like really.
So today, I was damn rude. God it's so satisfying but it doesn't get into her head so, dammit, there goes the satisfaction. My life and studies is so screwed up right now, I'm very tempted to just leave the house. What can they do?
If I live off my aunts, they'll (my parents) be losing face.
The shame would be unbearable so they'll have to take me in.
And someone would have to pay my tuition fees.


If Dad won't, then shame on you! You fail as a father!
Everyday, everynight, every time I step in your room, you tell me to clear your plates, and then you smile and say thank you. And I'd pretend to whine about it, and still clear it and laugh.
I have never disrespected you. I always joke around with you, I do what you tell me to, I refrain from doing things you'd get mad about.
I treat you like a damn king. The family treats you like that. Because it's a typical muslim family thing. And we truly do respect you, and we love you like that.


BUT SOMETIMES YOU ARE JUST SO UNREASONABLE.
Why is your word law?! Why must I always give in to you?! Why can't I stay over at ANYONE's place?
You don't let me stay over at my aunts because you think they're bad muslims thus bad influence? I hate you! Why are you like that?!
SO NARROW MINDED.

I never get to stay over at my friends' place in my life! NEVER.
I resort to lying. Is that what you rather have?


Mum,
you're blind.
All you can see is my shortcomings.
You don't treat me equally to my brother. Everytime I bring it up, you say, don't talk about people lah, look at yourself first.

THE FACT IS, you're biased.
All my life.
I resent that. I LIVED WITH IT and am living with it, but it doesn't mean I don't resent it.


Since you hate the way I am so much, (THIS IS ME BTW, GET OVER IT) I'm never good enough, I have to clean the whole house before you can be happy with me, oh at the same time, I must be a pious muslim girl who speaks softly, no personality, and I must be a genius academically at the same time,

then don't bother about me.

Just leave me alone can?

I don't need your approval really.
It's quite impossible to attain.

Leave me alone so there won't be any dirty laundry to air.


When I'm 21, screw you.
I'm walking out of the house and coming back home AS AND WHEN I LIKE. I don't ask for your permission to go ANYWHERE. I don't report to you where I am at anytime.
This house, is not a jail.


And if you scream at me for no reason, I'm walking out of your face.



Oh, btw, Hokes heard everything. Don't worry mum, he knows how rude I am to you.
Guess what? I don't give a flying fart about FACE.

you wanna tell my mum about this blog?
GO AHEAD

I air my family's dirty laundry
OKAY

I suck as a daughter?
I'm rude?
OKAY


I DONT FUCKING MIND BEING THE FUCKING BITCH IN THE FUCKING HOUSEHOLD.




What I write on this blog is fucking private. It's for me to fucking rant.
YOU WANNA SHARE IT, GO FUCKING AHEAD.

OKAY
MY FAMILY HATES ME
OKAY
THANKS TO YOU
OKAY
THANKS
THANKS FOR FUCKING PUBLICIZING THIS SHIT


Good muslims are supposed to keep other people's bad stuff and not publicize, and only spread good words.

AIYA FUCK YOU LAH

YOU FAIL AS FUCKING MUSLIMS K?
GO TO FUCKING HELL I HOPE ALL OF YOU WILL GO TO HELL

so i'm a bad muslim because I air my dirty laundry on this blog?
FUCK YOU.
I DO WHAT I WANT.


IT'S UP TO YOU TO KEEP IT TO YOURSELVES AND NOT DISCUSS IT

I'm a bad muslim OKAY I ACCEPT THAT A LONGGGG FUCKING TIME AGO

you wanna act good muslims? PLEASE LAH, AT LEAST I'M LIVING IN REALITY.
stop judging me when you fucking suck yourselves.
isn't hypocritical to say "hey you suck as a muslim caz you publicize the shit in your family"

GUESS WHAT? IT'S WHAT TEENS DO.
teens are angsty, they rant and they tell their friends.
GET OVER IT.

why dont you practice what you preach and not be a rat and tell my mum.



DAD and MUM
you think you are better than everyone else.
you are better then mum's muslim family right?
BAD INFLUENCE RIGHT
YOU ARE FUCKING GOOD MUSLIMS RIGHT?
THE BEST RIGHT
GOD FUCKING LOVESSSSS YOU.

HOW DARE YOU JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE,
HOW DARE YOU BITCH ABOUT YOUR OWN SISTERS
SHAME ON YOU ASSHOLES

WHen I grow up, I'll abandon both of you
YOU SEE HOW YOUR SON TREATS YOU
I PREDICT THAT HE WILL DUMP YOU GUYS ON ME TO SUPPORT
AND YOU STILL SAY I TREAT YOU LIKE SHIT
FUCK YOU

and we've hit our 100th post. like finally.

boom boom pow.

Labels: 100, The King

Say lol..lipop.

And tada, you've got the pronounciation for lol correct.

So there you go, juliet.

Labels: The King

I will be a free man tomorrow.

Tomorrow, tomorrowww, tomorrow.

Labels: fweedom, The King, The Pao Finder

I can't wait.

I can't wait to just skip this damn phase of my life.


I have holidays which should be called workdays because I AM NOT ENJOYING MYSELF! I am supposed to be taking a break! I hate you education! Why do you stress me so?!

When I was a kid I told my mama, I don't hate studying, I like it, school is just hateful. Why can't I learn what I want to learn as and when I like it? Like dolphins! Why don't they teach us about dolphins? I'll learn!

Oh you stupid innocent little child me.



It's quite gross. You know,life hasn't started for me.
I have just been preparing for life.
Study study study. Get cert. Get job. Get husband. Get family. Life begins.

It's hard to get cert.
Harder to get job.
Get husband?

I wish I could skip this entire thing. What's so fun about courting?
Omg, Hokes, marry me.


Hahahaha


omg don't.
we got kinks to work out.

okay. not yet then.
aiyo. are you scared? teehee.



I'm kidding, chill. aiya. aaaaaiiiyaaaa.


Okay, I'm not gonna blog when I'm emo.
Bye.

Labels: Elle, The Queen

Liiiiiiiiiiiike seriously. how dead is this blog? *insert bitchy tone*

Anyway since Jacob's in the army and Elle just refuses to blog..or. idk.

I'm gonna blog.

I don't exactly have anything on mind right now that I feel like the world needs to know of. BUT, here's an awesome song! I love the funky beats and the chorus makes me wanna get off my seat to dance!



Enjoy!

Labels: Funk, Music, Random Mandoms, The King

I know we long to touch each other, feel comfort in the other's warmth, rest safely in each other's arms, pretending that time stands still as soon as our fingers intertwine, listening to our heartbeats drum in unison. And our shoes would be heavy, reluctant to move, because they want to be still with time. The moment would engulf our hearts, our hearts would swell, our feet would weigh like feathers, and we would run while everything else stands still. Spirals – we'll orbit everything else, swinging so fast, testing the links of our fingers. We would spin and twirl and avoiding people who get in our way, but our focus would never shift from our eyes. And some how we just know our way, know where everything is to avoid them. It would just be about you and me and everything else. Our fingertips may tingle as we brush them against our skin, as if electricity runs through our veins, but what keeps me believing is that our hearts made contact before our fingers met.







-not charlie

Labels: Her, Jacob, Paperbag