Sincerely, I am happy that you've learned to not care about what people think. Honestly, again, as much as you've think you have changed, you haven't changed at all.
Still, you separate yourself from the rest, thinking that you are one of the very few that goes through what you go through, that you're getting the butt end of the deal. Tragically, it's untrue. Everybody has gone through the same problems when it comes with dealing with human beings. Be it in one form or another. Nobody is that different. Can you honestly say that you are nothing like the people you used to label as friends? Do you appreciate everything that is done for you? Do you dare to claim that you have not taken advantage or use somebody?
Lovingly, you cling on to your theories. And how tiresome it must be to filter everybody that you meet. Deciding who is good or bad. Judging really. By your standards, are you all good? But your comeback would be "nobody is 100% good." So how much good must a person be for you to be friends with? 60%? 70%?
Friend is a man made word? Definitely. Just like every other word. What else would have come up with it? Would it not be bullshit if Friend was expressed with hand gestures? Or if a dog came up with it? Maybe a rock would fit better. Rocks don't expect anything from you.
Honestly, third time again, if relationships fail you so much, why bother with a boyfriend? How do you know he is to stay? Or are you just waiting for him to disappear as well? How about your exclusive few? Do you expect them to love you back? Do you expect them to love you just as much? Or just loving you the tiniest bit be enough for you?
Eagerly, you look at everybody else and draw up your theories. Blindly, you forgot to look at yourself. Do you even live up to your theories? I'm not disagreeing with your theories. Neither am I agreeing. But I hope you won't be stubborn and be closed off. Do not treat them as they are black and white when they're all based on greys. Theories are just thoughts and not proven to be facts.
I just want to say again that I'm not dissing your opinions. I'm just poking holes at them to show you that it's not 100% truth. Stay grounded and not get caught up trying to figure your life out or you'll die trying.
I still love you, and I still call you friend. And I'm still Ben/Jerry/Whichever even if you don't wish to label me friend.
P.S. Friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, family, etc - they are all labels. Only the emotions are true. But the nouns make it easier to express how you feel about them.
Labels: Jacob, Paperbag, The Anarchist
