And I refuse to talk to Alfred until he gets over himself.
For God's sake, since I refuse to talk to you until you actually grow up, here's a not-so-little message on my humble blog.
GET OVER YOURSELF.
You were late. For school. By an hour. While I highly doubt it's possible that could be an hour late when you left the house early/on time. But let's give you the benefit of the doubt. Let's say you DID left the house EARLY, let's say the traffic was RIDICULOUSLY HORRIBLE, and the bus is UNBEARABLY SLOW, and you were, in all honesty, an hour late.
Isn't it completely idiotic, to reach school, and then decide to return home JUST BECAUSE you're an hour late and the lecturer might actually say something about it and you just don't wanna listen to it. You could have a productive 2 hour lesson out of the 3 hour prac lesson.
But just because Dr F is gonna say what, 2-3 lines at most? You're gonna miss the entire lesson. I'm sorry but I find it completely idiotic to waste your time like that.
STOP LETTING YOUR EMOTIONS RULE YOUR LIFE.
I once did, and look where it got me? I ****ed up my life. At least I actually make an effort to fix it. You don't even bother trying. I hate unambitious people.
I said the things I said to you to WAKE YOU UP. Stop thinking you're the most important person in the world. Stop making mountains out of molehills.
Let me quote your oh so victimized text message.
"Right. lik you are acting lik a 19? you just said e worst thing you can say to your fren.your fren who had e worst holiday yet stayed strong to cheer you up to tolerate with your hokes frenzy.your bloody fren who you think is childish and redundant."
What pisses me of is how you assume I think you're childish and redundant.
Do I think you're behaving childishly now?
Yes.
Do I think you're redundant?
No. I have never thought my friends redundant. Close or distant, all my friends played a role in my life to shape me into who I am today. Putting words into my mouth eh, dear friend?
YOU had the worst holiday? Really now. HAD YOU CONSULTED ME regarding Her I might actually get your head outta the clouds long enough for you to stop taking action on impulse. Now look, at the mess you got yourself into. GET OVER IT. BGR issues are small issues. Yes they strike close to the heart but STOP MAKING IT YOUR ENTIRE WORLD.
Regarding Hokes, I think you're being unfair to me. You know how much time I have left with Hokes. You know why I focus my time with him because you have more opportunities than him to meet me, see me, talk to me.
I say these things not to spitefully hurt you. YES, I'm pissed at you, but this is the brutal honest painful truth. Here I am trying to HELP YOU but how can I help you WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING HELPING YOURSELF.
I see no effort made whatsoever.
You stayed strong to cheer me up and tolerate my hokes frenzy? You know it's just a SMALL THING, what makes you think I would forgo YOUR ISSUES just because I'm suddenly crazy over Hokes? You didn't even bother TRYING to tell me about your issues. You speak as if I rattle on and on about Hokes non-stop.
PUH-LEASE.
YOU HAD MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO SHARE IT WITH ME. IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO, I RESPECT YOUR ****ing DECISION SO DON'T ACT AS IF I WASN'T BEING YOUR FRIEND.
You could have asked me out ANY DAY, you didn't.
The only day I rejected you to go out with Hokes was because we only had a week left with each other. And also because I just lan-ed with you and Hokes the other day to try cheer you up.
You could have called me ANY TIME, you didn't.
Want me to check my call log?
You could have msn-ed me ANY TIME, I'm online almost every other night.
But when you did, you didn't even come close to telling me.
I rattle on and on about Hokes is it? That I don't even give you ANY OPPORTUNITY AT ALL TO OPEN UP TO ME? PLEASE LA, THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT HOKES REGARDLESS OF MY LOVE FOR HIM.
Stop acting victimized. GET your act together. Here I am trying to help you and you think I happily happily kick you deeper into the mud when you're down? WAKE UP, ALFRED. THERE ARE THINGS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR MOODS.
How dare you act self-righteous? As if you're the only one going through one of your lowest points in life.
You did not see me breakdown when Ryan gave me the ultimatum. You did not see me breakdown when my mother told me I was ruining her life, ruining her family as if I'm not part of the family.
You did not see me struggling to sleep.
You did not see me rejecting Lexapro.
You did not see me trying to get myself in the right state of mind.
Don't act as if you're so wonderful a friend that you've been there for me all along.
I understand depression. I've been there. It's addictive. It makes you feel good about your misery. It makes you feel alone, like no one understands you. It makes you come up with excuses and makes you BELIEVE in your own excuses. You've seen me there, done that. I've said depression makes you stupid.
SO don't let something stupid like depression ruin your life too.
Everytime you feel down, and upset or depressed about your life, just remember someone else out there has it worse.
Your problems are NOTHING, compared to some people out there. You CAN get over these problems so stop happily wallow in your misery and start doing something about it.
Sure, I skip school too. Sure, I sleep in lectures. But AT LEAST I have the attitude to WANT to accomplish something. I don't see that in you at all.
It annoys me.
I've yet to slap you for making me wait for 2 ****ing hours yesterday.
Get out of the abyss of self-pity. Help me help you. I'm not gonna bitch about you being irritating to other people and ignore you totally. I'm here if you want help. Just make an effort to reach out to it.
Labels: Bitch-mode, Elle, Hissy Fit, Morning Madness, School, The Queen
